The End of Ordinary Sorrow
by Agent Dragicorn
Summary: [NozoEri] It was time, she was ready. Everything was perfect. Nothing could go wrong. Or could it? One-shot, based on the song Arifureta Kanashimi no Hate by NanjoIno (Eri's voice actor).


**Author's Note**

**So I found this song somewhere on Tumblr and decided to listen to it and Googled the lyrics. And this fic popped up (I almost typed pooped, which is kinda true since idk if this one is shit). **

**Sorry for not updating The Transfer Student -grovels and begs for forgiveness- Soon, I promise.**

**On to the story! This takes place post High School. Enjoy.**

**P.S. This is un-beta-ed, so I'm sorry if there are mistakes.**

* * *

She was ready. She could do this. After all those years of hesitance and beating herself up about it, she was finally ready to admit it. She wouldn't deny it any longer, wouldn't push it aside any further, no longer call it something else.

Today, she would finally tell Nozomi that she did reciprocate her feelings.

Even hearing that in her mind felt good. It felt great. Having finally stopped running away from the fact that she was indeed in love with her best friend and roommate, she felt as though a weight had been removed from her chest. She could breathe properly; the world seemed brighter. Everything felt right in the world.

"Erichi, I'm back!"

_This is my chance. No more waiting._

"Welcome back, Nozomi! I have news for you."

_We can finally be together. There's no way anything can be wrong now._

"Oh? What a coincidence, me too."

_There's no way._

"You can go first."

_Everything will be right._

Nozomi gave her a small smile.

_Right?_

One that didn't reach her eyes.

_No way._

A sad smile.

_It'll be alright._

"Erichi..."

_Everything will be all ri-_

"I'm seeing someone."

_Wrong._

They stood there in silence. Nozomi hesitantly gauged Eri's blank expression, watching unknowingly while Eri's world crashed around her. Everything was wrong.

"Like... dating someone?"

**_I'm sure I would have been better off ignorant_**

Nozomi nodded. A stab through Eri's heart. Then her body was numb. She couldn't feel anything.

**_Holding such pain in my chest_**

"That's great. I'm happy for you."

She tried to smile. It felt wrong. It was all wrong.

**_I smiled each day_**

"Are you sure? You seem... weird."

_Hide it all._

"Of course. My best friend found someone. If you're happy, I'm happy."

And she meant it. All she wanted was for Nozomi to be happy. Because she loved her.

Another stab.

"...Okay. I'll introduce you to him another time."

_Please don't._

"Sure. I'll be waiting."

_Or these feelings won't leave._

"What was your news?"

_It doesn't mean anything now._

"It's nothing."

_It's not important._

**Not saying a word about it**

"Really?"

_I need to hide it._

"Just that I made dinner. I'll take it out."

_I need to move on._

"Wow, that's sweet of you! What's the occasion?"

_I need to forget._

"Nothing."

**_And told myself to forget_**

* * *

"He's in my Photography class. We've been hanging out since University started and hit off really well, so he asked me out today and at the end of the day, I said yes to being his girlfriend," Nozomi shared.

Eri couldn't feel anything. She was numb. She figured it was better than feeling the stabs.

"I see. How did he ask?"

_It's like I want to feel pain,_ Eri snorted mentally.

"He secretly bought a bouquet of roses and presented it to me at sunset. We were at the park and it was really beautiful."

A dull ache.

She did that too. Brought her to a park. Watched the sunset together. Bought her flowers. But never asked her that question. It was supposed to be today.

"Do you like him?"

Now she had to get rid of them.

**_I shut away my memories_**

"Yes."

**_Heartbreak._**

* * *

They sat on the couch, watching a movie. The main characters end up together. It was a happy ending for all. All except the other guy. The guy that got rejected. It seemed so familiar.

She wasn't a main character.

**_With this clichéd sadness and clichéd pain_**

"I'm going to bed now. Goodnight, Erichi."

She was holding her phone. Would they be talking? Would he bid her goodnight? Would the last person Nozomi spoke to not be her any longer?

_Stop it._

**_I barely hold back tears_**

"Goodnight, Nozomi."

She returned to her sanctuary and let everything out silently. Lying on bed, she looked out the window.

**_And watch the stars_**

The sky was beautiful. It was bright. It was spattered with stars. She could make out many shapes from them all. A huge heart was imprinted in the sky. The stars supported Nozomi and her boyfriend.

**_They shine brighter than usual_**

Eri sobbed. Just thinking about it made her feel like the world was collapsing. She had never expected this to happen. It was supposed to be a "when pigs fly" thing. A "when the sky falls" thing.

**_And seem to fall_**

She bundled herself in her blanket. She sought refuge. Laughter from the neighbours travelled through her walls, through her blanket, through her safety nets. They mocked her. She felt under a spotlight, being put on show for others to laugh at her misery.

**_As they quietly illuminate me_**

She cried herself to sleep.

* * *

"Have you gotten everything you need?" Eri questioned Nozomi as she fussed over all her items.

It was the only way to keep the pain at bay. Stay busy. Don't feel anything.

**_These feelings will settle down gradually_**

"Yeah. I'm going to miss you, Erichi."

Another stab. They haven't gotten any less intense.

She tried her best to quell it. She tried.

"Me too. Don't forget about me, alright?"

Wishful thinking. Hopes could only remain as dreams and not reality.

"Same for me. You won't, right?"

_I hope I do._

"I won't."

She knew that was the truth.

But she still hoped.

**_As time passes, you too will fade_**

* * *

Day 42 since she moved out.

Eri still woke up, expecting to see Nozomi. Prepared two sets of utensils. Made two sets of breakfast. Walked the longer way to pass by her school. Ate the extra set for lunch. Bought her favourite food. Made two sets of dinner. Gave the extra set to her neighbour. Walked to the empty room. Placed her latest test results on the pile of other noteworthy news on the otherwise empty floor. Went to bed and left a space for her. Just in case. Dreamt of the past. They were as vivid as ever.

**_When will this become a distant memory?_**

* * *

"You can't live like this any longer, sis."

Day 195 since she moved out.

She knew Arisa was right. It was high time she moved on. But could she?

"I know."

She couldn't. Parts of her were missing. _Her limbs_. Nozomi would always help her out in everything. _Her mind_. Nozomi was the beacon of rational light in her life, the only thing that made sense in a world of confusion. _Her heart_. Now she was lost in it and she couldn't feel anything.

"But I'm incomplete."

She was not whole without her. Nozomi wasn't just her other half; she was Eri's everything.

"Then forget her. Erase her. Find someone else that will make you whole."

There was no one else. But she was trying the former.

She had been, since that starry and beautiful night.

"I will."

She cut herself off from her memories with a new determination.

No more.

**_Time has passed, you have faded._**

* * *

A soulless body. An empty vessel. She didn't live; she stayed alive. Everything was dull but she could smile. Not with her eyes but with her mouth. It was progress. She could get better.

"Erichi?"

Or not.

She turned around. A skip, then a stab. Nozomi's radiance was blinding. She wrapped her arms around Eri. Was it possible to feel so good yet in such pain at the same time?

"I missed you."

Her heart leapt. She missed her. Nozomi missed her.

A small smile formed.

"I missed you too."

One that reached her eyes.

"We need to catch up! Do you have time now?"

For Nozomi, she would miss anything. Nothing was above spending time with her love.

"Of course. Anything for you."

That wasn't supposed to come out.

Nozomi blushed slightly and Eri felt her heart flutter. Could it be possible? But she couldn't hope. They were just dreams.

Nozomi led her to a cafe nearby where they caught up. They talked about various things, ranging from school to future plans. It was as though they had never been separated. But she had to ask that one question. She had to know so she could leave before more damage was done.

"So how are you and your boyfriend?"

She cringed at the word. It still hurt to say it. Progress was not much after all.

"We broke up a few months ago."

A ray of hope. Eri felt lighter.

"I couldn't do it. It isn't right when it isn't the one I love."

She loves someone else. She loves them. The weight of the sky fell back on her. She was back in Atlas's position.

"It isn't right when it's not you."

Her heart stopped. This must be a dream. It was what she had hoped for. They were all dreams. They could never become a reality. She stared dumbly at her.

"I know you don't feel the same, but I do. I always have. I always will. I'm sorry."

Eri's brain couldn't function. She couldn't process it all. She just felt something within her. It felt good. It felt great. Hearing her confession, she felt as though a weight had been removed from her chest. She could breathe properly; the world seemed brighter. Everything felt right in the world.

"Never apologise."

She crashed their lips together, feeling giddy like a middle school girl. It was all that she had dreamed it would be and more. It felt right. She was no longer in a state of limbo. She could feel everything. She could feel the tingles, the warmth spreading throughout her body, the unbridled joy, the rapid beating of her heart, the feeling of floating into the air. She felt the love from them both.

They broke apart for a much needed breath of air and smiled goofily at each other.

"Come, let me take you somewhere," Eri declared as she took Nozomi's hand, feeling the rush of emotions once more.

They walked with a skip in their steps, giddy and high from their long unrequited love being reciprocated. Eri was practically bouncing with joy. She felt alive. She was living once more.

She tugged on Nozomi's hand, urging her to go faster.

_We can finally be together. There's no way anything can be wrong now._

She turned back to face Nozomi, still walking.

_There's no way._

"I was going to wait till later to say this, but I really can't wait any longer."

_Everything will be right._

"I love you."

_Right?_

Nozomi's face lit up and opened her mouth. Then her expression did a 180.

"Erichi!"

She jumped forward and Eri felt two hands push against her, making her fly forward. She hit the ground hard and turned, only to see the love of her life in the air. In that split second, their eyes met. Nozomi had a peaceful smile on her face, a happy one. An expression that one in her position shouldn't have.

Her body hit the ground even harder.

_Wrong._

**_I repeatedly question why_**

People rushed towards the girl lying on the floor. Her purple hair was stained a beautiful red. The sunlight cast a glow on her, creating a halo on her hair. She looked like a fallen angel. She would be returning soon.

Eri dragged her body there in her stunned state. She pushed aside anyone in her way with a strength that did not match the rest of her sluggish movements.

"Hey... Nozomi... Get up."

Nozomi gave her a small smile.

"Come on... We have to go..."

One that did reach her eyes.

"You're not leaving me, right?"

A sad smile.

"Erichi..."

A dull ache.

"I'm glad you didn't wait."

A stab.

"I love you too."

Her heart felt alive yet died at the same time.

Eri pressed their lips together gently, a small peck.

A gentle smile. Then the lights in Nozomi's eyes went out. The lights in Eri's life went out.

**_Heartbreak_**

* * *

She held the picture tightly. The world was a blur around her. People would often come up to her.

_My condolences,_ they would say.

**_My never-ending sadness_**

_It will get better, _they would try.

**_And never-ending pain_**

She couldn't do anything. She just sat there, gripping the picture tightly. She wished she couldn't feel anything. She wished to be numb. She was overwhelmed by sorrow. By pain. But her body could not react. She could not cry. She could not get the release she needed.

**_Flow like the waves_**

She sat there like an ice block. Cold, still and melting. Melting into the bleak world where she would cease to live. She would only be alive.

**_Until dawn breaks_**

Everyone had left. She was chased away. She had to leave.

_Go home,_ they told her.

Her home was no longer here.

She walked along the streets. Where she was going, she had no idea. There was no destination. Perhaps she was finding her light. She was finding Nozomi.

She reached the area where it happened. Where her world really fell apart.

**_My feelings swirl more violently than usual_**

She hated herself. She had caused an angel to die. She was the devil.

Why was she so careless? Why did she not notice that she was on the road? What happened to her famous level-headedness? Where was the rational Eri? Why was she so stupid? Why did she not look forward? Why did she not just get them back safely then confess?

Why?

**_And I feel as though I could fall apart completely_**

She walked on. She had to find her light. She had to know why. Why Nozomi was taken away from her, when they had just been reunited. Why Nozomi was the one to leave and not her. Why an angel would be taken and a devil left to live. Why Nozomi had died when it wasn't her time.

A loud sound. She turned. She saw the light. She embraced it. She felt the impact. She flew, just like Nozomi did.

**_Should I sleep?_**

She went higher in the air. She was closer to Nozomi now. A thump on her back. Her head hurt. But she was at peace. She was anticipating this. She stared up at the sky.

**_The moon eventually grows light._**

She would be joining Nozomi. She was going home. They would be reunited. They could never be apart again.

**_A gentle dream falls upon my chest_**

Figures crowded her minimal vision. Everything was blur. She hurt. She couldn't identify the parts of her body now. It was just a mass of pain. She thought about everyone she was leaving behind. Her sister, her mother, her friends.

**_With this clichéd sadness and clichéd pain_**

But it was worth it. She hoped they wouldn't feel too bad. She hoped they would understand. She was getting her respite after months of suffering. It felt good. It felt great. As she lay there, she felt as though a weight had been removed from her chest. She could breathe properly; the world seemed brighter. Everything felt right in the world.

Relief washed over her.

**_I barely hold back tears_**

She stared up at the starry sky.

**_And watch the stars_**

It was beautiful. It was bright. It was spattered with stars. She could make out many shapes from them all. A huge heart was imprinted in the sky. The stars supported her and Nozomi.

**_They shine brighter than usual_**

Her wish was granted. Her hopes had come true. Her dreams had become reality. She felt the stars coming near her. Or maybe she was rising up. She was going to join her love.

**_And seem to fall_**

She was a main character.

**_As they quietly illuminate me..._**

* * *

**A/N**

**Hope you felt as much as I did when I wrote it. Sorry if it's choppy and if you have scrolled a lot because I kept pressing the "Enter" key.**

**And because I really hate ending on such a note...**

**OMAKE**

"Erichi?"

Eri woke up and was blinded by the light.

"Erichi, are you really here?"

She turned to the heavenly voice and was met by the sight of an angel. A real angel.

"Nozomi..."

She was scooped into a familiar embrace and she promptly returned the hug, savouring the much missed closeness to the purple haired angel.

"I didn't think you would find me so soon. I hoped that you would live longer..." The sadness in her tone was evident and Eri hastily corrected her.

"I can't live without you."

Nozomi gave her a small smile.

"Wouldn't you have done the same for me?"

One that did reach her eyes.

"Of course."

A happy smile.

**END**


End file.
